• S1.E1 ∙ Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids
• S1.E2 ∙ Rule #174: Never Trust Anyone Who Charges by the Hour
• S1.E3 ∙ Rule #47: Always Take Advantage of "Me" Time
• S1.E4 ∙ Rule #426: Fantasyland: A Great Place to Visit
• S1.E5 ∙ Rule #21: Leave Childishness to the Children
• S1.E6 ∙ Rule #33: When in Doubt, Run Away
• S1.E7 ∙ Rule #67: Don't Kill the Princess
• S1.E8 ∙ Rule #17: Ask the Answer Lady
• S1.E9 ∙ Rule #32: F-you, Rob Frumpkis!
• S1.E10 ∙ Rule #3: Don't Stand in the Doorway
• S1.E11 ∙ Rule #46: Keep the Holidays Low Key
• S1.E12 ∙ Rule #92: Don't Do the Crime If You Can't Do the Time
• S1.E13 ∙ Rule #101: Know When It's Time to Move On

• S2.E1 ∙ Rule #58: Avoid the Douchemobile
• S2.E2 ∙ Rule #77: Don't Blow the Bubble
• S2.E3 ∙ Rule #8: Timing Is Everything
• S2.E4 ∙ Rule #605: You Can Go Home Again
• S2.E5 ∙ Rule #72: It's Never Too Late to Be a Mean Girl
• S2.E6 ∙ Rule #25: Beware the Second Chance
• S2.E7 ∙ Rule #14: No Means... No
• S2.E8 ∙ Rule #79: Labels Are for Canned Goods
• S2.E9 ∙ Rule #81: There's No Crying in Porn
• S2.E10 ∙ Rule #36: If You Can't Stand the Heat, You're Cooked
• S2.E11 ∙ Rule #118: Let Her Eat Cake
• S2.E12 ∙ Rule #876: Everything Does Not Happen for a Reason
• S2.E13 ∙ Rule #59: "Happily Ever After" Is an Oxymoron

• S3.E1 ∙ Rule #43: When One Door Opens, There's an Icy Draft
• S3.E2 ∙ Rule #137: Move Your Car
• S3.E3 ∙ Rule #188: Mind Your Side of the Plate
• S3.E4 ∙ Rule #225: What Happens in Bakersfield Stays in Bakersfield
• S3.E5 ∙ Rule #99: Cook Naked
• S3.E6 ∙ Rule #218: There's No Crying in Baseball
• S3.E7 ∙ Rule #91: Run Toward What Scares You

• S4.E1 ∙ Rule #776: The Cat Is Always on the Roof
• S4.E2 ∙ Rule #10: Just Survive
• S4.E3 ∙ Rule #706: Let Them Eat Cupcakes
• S4.E4 ∙ Rule #49: Let It Shine
• S4.E5 ∙ Rule #930: Plan for New Plans
• S4.E6 ∙ Rule #155: Go with the Magician

• S5.E1 ∙ Rule #773: Step and Repeat
• S5.E2 ∙ Rule #149: Don't Eat the Yellow Snow
• S5.E3 ∙ Rule #97: It Takes Two to Stab Yourself in the Butt
• S5.E4 ∙ Rule #63: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint
• S5.E5 ∙ Rule #303: Burn That Sh*t to the Ground
• S5.E6 ∙ Rule #1: Keep the Toast Short